7 EFFORTS: LISTS OF
QUESTIONS
MISSING
1
when does the
first step begin?
2
is it going or
leaving?
3
how does
lifting the instrument lead the going?
4
how does my
motion steady me?
5
what am I
missing in being steady?
6
what will I
miss when I become unsteady?
7
is missing the
reminder to continue?
8
can I miss by
missing again?
9
can missing be
a fluid state?
10
can missing
fill a room?
11
can missing
feel the corners i can’t?
12
how do I
forget missing?
13
what reminds
me to miss?
14
is missing the
reminder?
15
how many
speeds in missing?
16
what is the
speed of two notes oscillating?
17
what distance
does it travel?
18
what is the
speed of my pacing?
19
what is the
speed of thought?
20
what is the
distance covered?
21
what do we
miss with an answer?
22
what do we
miss by knowing?
23
what do I miss
at this speed?
24
what do I miss
by continuing?
25
what do I miss
when I walk past you?
26
where are you
when I miss you?
27
how do you
experience my missing?
28
why does
missing almost return before it dies?
29
why does
missing stop?
30
what makes
missing stop?
31
what do we
miss in counting?
32
when am I
uncertain?
33
what makes me
worried about my uncertainty?
34
are we missing
each other or are we passing?
35
do we travel
together in our missing?
36
how do I
acknowledge your missing?
37
do I
acknowledge your missing?
38
what are you
missing?
39
past position?
40
your
instability?
41
do I miss the
previous moment?
42
have I missed
the present moment?
43
when does
missing take care?
44
when does
missing mean not caring?
45
when does
missing mean caring too much?
46
how to
cultivate missing?
47
how to shape
our missing?
48
what do we miss?
49
what could
moving be?
50
what could
texture of the air be?
51
what could
texture of my bones be?
52
what could
turning my bones mean?
53
how could I
want what I missed?
54
did you know
what you missed?
55
did you feel
what you missed? everything about missing is uncanny. everything that I missed
is already not continuing.
56
what could
leaving miss?
57
what does
lingering do?
58
where does
someone’s presence as place keep you?
59
what is being
kept in place?
60
what is you
being kept in place?
61
what of you is
being kept in place?
62
why do you
keep self in place?
63
why do you
keep yourself in place until the missing becomes unbearable?
64
why was I
afraid to meet your eyes and move across the line?
65
does missing
make us afraid?
66
does being
kept in a person’s presence as place remind us of our missing?
67
does being
kept avoid missing?
68
does being
kept mean losing fear?
69
does being
kept mean losing care?
LIFTING
1
when my right
arm prepares to lift what happens to the rest of the body? I feel
reverberations of its stiffening, both as movement of compensating body, and as
what pulls.
2
when do I
allow these reverberating movements of the body to determine the body’s trajectory
and when do I stop or go against them?
3
when do I
merely notice and observe and when do I act?
4
is my self
observation perceivable or interesting?
5
how does self
observation both lead to action and go against it?
6
what am I
lifting?
7
what are the
rhythms of my body?
8
are they the
rhythms I want?
9
how can I play
with the reverberating rhythms of my body’s parts?
10
against them?
11
mapping them
out in groups?
12
can I create cross
rhythms in my body?
13
are they
rhythms that are made in the moment or are they in memory?
14
are they
heard?
15
are they seen?
16
how do the
heard, felt, and seen rhythms interact with each other?
17
is it better
to leave contradiction?
18
is it better
to leave dissonance of instrument and its motion?
19
is it better
to leave dissonance of instrument lifted as object?
20
is it lifted
as if an object or as if not there at all?
21
is it lifted
as an extension of the arm?
22
how do i
notice the bow differently?
23
how do i
notice the violin differently?
24
how do I hold
it?
25
how do I treat
it?
26
is it a
measuring device?
27
what does it
measure?
28
my movement?
29
sound?
30
pattern?
31
what do I feel
in lifting the instrument that I wouldn’t if I lifted just my arms?
32
when does
lifting come down?
33
what is it
when it comes down?
34
sound?
35
or still
movement?
36
how does the
down motion change the subsequent lifts—what they mean and what they lift?
37
is what it
lifts its meaning?
38
or is what it
lifts irrelevant to what it means to lift?
39
what does it
mean to lift in the way that you are lifting?
40
when does my
lifting take me off balance?
41
when is it
pattern and when is it the disruption of pattern?
42
how does it
build pattern?
43
why?
44
how is pattern
a different rhythm from the felt rhythms of the body?
45
how do we
translate our felt rhythms?
46
how is lifting
different when it makes sound?
47
how is lifting
after sound?
48
what is
lifting in sound?
49
how can a
lifting sound interact with a lifting movement?
50
do they
cooperate?
51
do they drift
apart but still follow the same general trajectory?
52
what does
lifting become in music?
53
is it even
lifting?
54
is it only the
patterns of lifting?
55
does lifting
fall off?
56
is lifting
only the starting point for rhythm?
57
how does
lifting orient my playing toward another feeling of rhythm?
58
what does it
mean for the bow to make sound with air?
59
what does it
mean for the bow to hit my body?
60
how does my
bow encounter body and air differently?
61
how do the
patterns or figures within my improvisation create rhythms in their occurrence
and shifting?
62
how do they
have rhythms internal to themselves?
63
how do the
internal rhythms relate to the rhythms of their appearance and transition?
64
are some of
the figures more unstable than others?
65
are some of
the figures only meant as movement?
66
do they
develop internally?
67
or do they
only develop the progression of the figures’ relations?
68
how does this
overall progression of figures’ relations develop?
69
does the space
between them ever change?
70
do i ever just
groove?
71
do i ever get
stuck?
72
what does it
mean to get stuck?
73
why does being
stuck make me uncomfortable?
74
how do i climb
out of being stuck?
75
is there
pleasure in the movements that don’t go anywhere?
76
how can
movement contain itself?
77
how does
movement explode from its containment?
78
is that
lifting?
79
an explosion?
80
containment?
LISTENING
1
what are your
rhythms?
2
where do they
arise?
3
should I be
concerned?
4
should I
intervene?
5
are you in
pain?
6
do you even know?
7
do you know
what direction you are moving in?
8
should I
arrive when you lose your direction?
9
how will I
know that you have lost your direction?
10
will I hear
it?
11
does it sound
like breath escaping your body?
12
what does it
mean to add my voice?
13
what does it
mean for me to have arrived at the place of your surrender?
14
can I lift
you?
15
should i lift
you?
16
do I change
the nature of your suffering for you?
17
do you
consider it suffering?
18
would you
consider it suffering if you saw yourself?
19
would I
consider it suffering if I was you?
20
how do I
describe the noises that escape you?
21
how does my
description change the nature of the noises?
22
is the voice
that escapes you yours?
23
is my
describing voice mine?
24
is that the
difference between our voices?
25
yours escapes;
mine describes?
26
how does
arriving change the nature of my listening?
27
where do I
listen from?
28
how is
listening active in playing?
29
how does
listening activate playing?
30
how is lifting
the instrument to play different now?
31
how is it the
same?
32
how do I
already begin to describe the rhythms escaping you in my lifting?
33
how does my
lifting change yours?
34
how does
hearing you affect my breathing?
35
how does
hearing your breath escape you cause me to direct mine?
36
how does my
bowing reverberate through me?
37
how has
lifting changed how I listen to it?
38
how does
listening change what it means to lift?
DRAWING A LINE
1
did you tell
me to write this?
2
have I only
now remembered that you told me to write this?
3
who draws the
line?
4
who is
describing?
5
who is
described?
6
who stripped
down to their tender bark?
7
are you the
guiding hand?
8
am I the
guiding foot?
9
are we both
guiding, neither going?
10
is drawing a
line going?
11
is drawing the
line the indefinite suspension of its disappearance?
12
is drawing a
line recompense for the tragedy of fear?
13
is drawing a
line the decision to trust voice?
14
is drawing a
line a leap or a dirge?
15
is it both
simultaneously?
16
is drawing a
line an image?
17
is drawing a
line a metaphor?
18
is drawing a
line the scoring to the other side of metaphor?
19
is it too
simple to mean nothing than the scoring of my shoulder?
20
is drawing a
line the presence of neglect?
21
is the line
drawn with care?
22
would the line
have been drawn if we had cared?
23
can I feel the
line drawn at my heels?
24
can I feel the
wind of sand falling?
25
can I feel
your concentration?
26
what is the
feeling of preserving by losing?
27
what was the
first thing I drew?
28
was I drawn at
birth?
29
did I withdraw
from the womb?
30
what does it
mean to draw breath?
31
what does it
mean for a new thing to be drawn?
32
what does it
mean for an old thing to be drawn out?
33
how does
musical cadence affect my walk?
34
how does the
step shape my feet?
35
is there a
correspondence between my fingers and my toes?
36
does the walk
ever end?
37
does the walk
continue after the musical cadence? not necessarily the walk, but the
instability of its motion.
38
does the walk
add limbs to the body?
39
what is the
un-intentional expressivity of a distracted body?
40
how does
drawing a line take us off balance?
41
how is the
stability of the line premised on the instability of the drawing body?
42
how does the
straightness of a line distract?
43
how does being
off balance change how I listen?
44
does it change
what I listen to?
45
how does my
imbalance force me to let go?
46
what do I let
go of? the misconception that there is a part of my body that knows musical
time better than another.
47
do I measure
the line by my own imbalances?
48
is the only
distraction the idea that i move linearly?
49
is the very
direction of my concentration my distraction?
50
do i only hear
and feel peripherally?
51
am i missing
the center?
52
is the core
only perceivable in the moment of imbalance?
53
does the core
torque the body to glimpse itself?
54
is that why
imbalance comes suddenly?
55
to peek at the
center?
PLEASURE
1
how is
pleasure private?
2
how does
privacy present itself?
3
what does it
mean to share pleasure privately?
4
what does it
mean for pleasure to be derived separately but simultaneously?
5
how is sexual
pleasure different from musical pleasure?
6
how is it the
same?
7
how do their
rhythms miss?
8
how does the
body follow pleasure?
9
how does a
musical body follow pleasure?
10
does it forget
its body to find pleasure?
11
or does the
body anchor pleasure?
12
does the body
anchor desire?
13
does it pull
desire back into itself?
14
is it the
anchoring of desire that creates pleasure?
15
pulling desire
back into the body to create pleasure?
16
is pleasure
always returning?
17
never going?
18
where would it
go?
19
returning to
itself?
20
is the
pleasure I enjoy mine?
21
is the
pleasure you enjoy yours?
22
where do I
feel pleasure?
23
what does it
do to my body?
24
how does it
change me?
25
does pleasure feed
itself?
26
what stops
pleasure?
27
desire?
28
the absence of
desire?
29
can pleasure
be measured?
30
does it have
its own rhythms?
31
can pleasure
acknowledge suffering?
32
is there space
for suffering in pleasure?
33
is there
pleasure in loss?
34
is there
pleasure in losing what was private?
35
is there
pleasure in losing the part of yourself that was private?
36
is there
pleasure in continuing?
37
when is
continuing going?
38
when is it
returning?
39
when is
returning familiar?
40
when is
pleasure familiar?
41
which part of
pleasure is uncanny?
42
which part of
my pleasure feels like it is somewhere else?
43
which part of
my pleasure feels like it is someone else’s?
44
are there even
parts of pleasure?
45
how would they
be distributed?
46
who would
separate them?
47
is our
pleasure negotiated?
48
is our
pleasure uneven?
49
does our
pleasure survive us?
50
what is
describing a body?
51
does a body
only exist after its description?
52
does my body
take pleasure in its description?
53
what describes
a body?
54
a body?
55
what describes
the body describing?
56
does pleasure
describe the body?
57
is the
description of the body the body following pleasure?
58
is this how
the body describes the body?
59
by following
pleasure?
NOT KNOWING
1
how does it
feel to know?
2
how do I know
that I don’t know?
3
how do I
remain ignorant?
4
how do I stop
knowing?
5
what do I not
know? I do not know your pleasure. I do not know how much suffering your
pleasure allows. I do not know the weight of the sand. I do not know what it is
to move on stage without an instrument. I do not know what is to move on stage
without clothes. I do not know what it is to be silent. I do not know what it
is to be a woman. I do not know what part of me you are observing. I do not
know how your observation moves you. I do not know the quality of your
attention. I do not know the intent of your attention. I do not know how much
of your movement is mine. I do not know how much of my movement escapes me. I
never know what escapes me. I do not know the directions of my movement. I do
not know how to describe your movement. I do not know how to follow your
movement. I do not know how to not follow your movement. I do not know the
reason for walking. I do not know how to feel your movement in my legs. I do
not know where my legs begin. I do not know the extent of my asymmetries. I do
not know where you hold. I do not know when to arrive. I do not know how you
would tell me. I do not know if you would tell me. I do not know if you know. I
do not know what you count. I do not know what you lift. I do not know what
carrying is for you. I do not remember what it is to be carried by someone much
larger than myself. I do not know what is to be my parents. I do not know if
they imagine what it is to be me. I do not know the weight of your attachments.
I do not know when you break. I do not know what breaking is for you. I do not
know how long to hold my breaks. I do not know what the silence means. I do not
know how to keep it. I do not know who the silence is for. I do not know who
keeps it. I do not know if I believe in god. I do not know what god is. I do
not know what god is to you. I do not know what pattern means to you. I do not
know which rhythms you feel. I do not know what you push against. I do not know
where you anchor desire.
TAKING CARE
1
how do I draw
breath from the ground?
2
how does the
ground lift me?
3
how is it that
what lifts me buries you?
4
how is it that
you struggle and I sit at ease?
5
what is our
proximity?
6
what is the
nature of our inequality?
7
what do you
see down there that I miss up here?
8
is there
something that the top of my head will never see?
9
is there
something in the earth I draw breath from without witnessing?
10
what does it
mean for you to arrive at voice?
11
what does it
mean that your voice only arrives as it loses itself?
12
what does it
mean when my voice arrives?
13
is this where
we meet?
14
is this the
only moment of understanding?
15
your voice
arriving and losing itself; my voice arriving and drawing continual breath?
16
did we only
just learn to use our voices?
17
do I only now
understand what silence means?
18
after you
found voice?
